Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [67]
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A major issue in relationships can be the frequency of sexual activity. If I had my druthers, I’d have sex five times a day. My partner, however, isn’t always up to this, nor do we always have time. In those instances, I’ll settle for just once a day, every day…and I do mean “settle.” But even that is too much for some women, especially those in committed and marital relationships. Sometimes we don’t feel pretty or sexy enough. We blame it on our children and careers and a lack of time to focus on ourselves. While these things do affect how we feel about ourselves, that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it.
Just one day a week, pamper yourself in the bathroom. Soak in a long, hot bubble bath with plenty of scented candles. Make time for you. Take an hour and do all those little things that make you feel like a woman, then take those good feelings and share them that night with your man.
Not everyone can find the time and stamina to have sex every day. If this sounds like you and your mate, try setting aside a particular night for just the two of you. Call it Date Night, if you have to give it a name. Before you get to your special night, be aware that everything you do leading up to that night can be considered as foreplay: dinners, massages, cuddling, kisses, and kind, loving words. All of it counts. Just because you’re not having sex today doesn’t mean that you can’t appeal to all his senses and make him feel special, loved, and very wanted. These things are the very building blocks of intimacy, which will, ultimately lead to spectacular sex.
Based on what many of you may think you know about me, you might not exactly consider me the poster child for monogamy…but I should be. I wholeheartedly subscribe to everything monogamy stands for. There is nothing more fulfilling to me than being with one person and being able to make it work. It’s easy to make it work when you’re juggling several people. When one gets on your nerves, you just move to the next. Each one of them may have some characteristic you absolutely adore. You find yourself thinking that if you could just put together the best traits of all the men you’re juggling, they’d make the perfect man. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But check this out: there is no perfect man. We’re all imperfect, but in spite of those imperfections, it’s still possible to find our ideal in one man.
While I do believe you should date several people when deciding upon whom to spend your time and possibly your life with, once you have made the decision, stick with it. After all the people I’ve had relationships with throughout my life, and after believing I never wanted to be in another serious relationship again, I’ve found that monogamy is what truly makes me happy. If this is your feeling, then accept nothing less. Monogamy isn’t for everyone, but for those who prefer it as a way of life it can be very fulfilling.
Sex can be amazing when it’s just you and a man you know loves you and only you. There is nothing more exciting than a man and a woman who are free to do anything and everything with each other because they’re exclusively committed. Monogamy, in these times of diseases and death, is like an insurance policy. Yes, it can be challenging to be limited to just one person. It requires being vigilant and aware of ways to keep the relationship from growing stale and yourself from becoming complacent. And while being with several people on a regular basis can seem like fun, in the long run monogamy can prove to be a lot less heartache. Take it from the Vixen…I know! Eventually, one or more of the guys you’re juggling will start to get serious and ultimatums will inevitably follow. Feelings will get hurt. The more people involved, the greater the potential for pain. I’ve come a long way from those days of needing to be with more than one person, so exclusivity works