Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [71]
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In the event that you hit a home run and your man is brought to the brink of orgasm, what do you do? There is always the option of him placing his semen somewhere, anywhere, on your body. If you decide to allow him to relieve himself on your face, be careful not to get his bountiful load in your eyes, especially if you wear contact lenses. The burning is excruciating, and it’s murder cleaning the enzymes from your contacts. In the event you decide to allow him to blow a fuse in your mouth but wish not to swallow, try not to look disgusted in the moments before spitting it out. A man does not want to feel as if he or his essence is vile, though many times the goopy liquid is! When you’re finished collecting the flow, smile a bit and slowly walk to the restroom and over to the sink, and quietly spit it out. Don’t do some sort of spit take and then gargle with bleach water! Stay calm and be sure to protect his feelings. Now, if you’re determined to swallow his spunk, be a trouper and do so without negative comments like “Ooh that was thick” or “Yuck!” Even if it is the most despicable jizz ever, smile and respond with a resounding, “Mmmm!”
Sure, sometimes it’s thick and sour, sometimes it’s smooth and sweet, sometimes it’s just a squirt and sometimes—watch out! There are tons of old wives’ tales that promise to make it more pleasant for us like feeding him pineapples. Bad habits like smoking and drinking can make the taste of his dickspit unbearable, as well as not drinking enough water or certain medications. No matter what you decide to do—spit, swallow, or gently place it somewhere neutral—do it with a smile or don’t do it at all. None of us want to feel unwanted, especially not in that way. Enjoy!
Now, for the men reading along, this may be a good time to either skip ahead or let your woman continue without you. This next bit will have you, literally, seeing red. For some of us girls, the topic may be a sensitive subject as well, but we must put it out there and talk about it: having sex on your period. That’s right, ladies, a good old-fashioned Bloody Mary. For some couples, this will be against your religion or social customs, as are quite a few things in this book. For the rest of us who are adventurous and completely uninhibited, having sex on our periods can be a comfortable, clean, and even erotic experience, if using the right tips. And even in the messiest of Bloody Mary situations, your man can enjoy being caught red-handed! For men who are not squeamish, the sight of blood can be an absolute turn-on, a sign that he is, as we say, “beating it up” or “punishing that pussy.” Whatever his mannish, gory fantasies, the sight of blood only propels a warrior forward, not makes him retreat.
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Vixen Tip
Here’s to a better Blood Mary happy hour.
If you wear a tampon, it is best to leave it in until right before crawling into bed with your lover.
A long bath before intercourse also helps to clean your vaginal cavity directly before having sex on your period.
A popular old wives’ tale claims that adding Epsom salts to your bath helps not only to clean the existing blood but also to slow your flow and tighten the vaginal walls. Who knows whether that’s true or not? Who cares? Try it anyway! If nothing else, it’ll relax the hell out of your aching muscles.
Cover your bed in a dark-colored absorbent towel, sheet, or blanket—black, brown, blue, or my personal favorite, red. There is something primitively ritualistic about having a special cover just for that time of the month, especially if it’s red.
For a less messy situation, if that’s your major concern, enjoy your Blood Mary doggie-style, letting gravity assist you.
Be sure to lubricate; you’ll be a bit dry after removing your tampon or sitting in a hot, salty bath. Besides, blood isn’t the best lubricant.
Relax. As long as you and your partner are safe and comfortable with the idea of being together during your “lady’s days,” don’t worry about squirts and gushes. Just stay on your special blanket and let your