Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [72]
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For some of you, having sex on your period will not be planned but an embarrassing moment filled with apologies, followed by hot towels and a mad rush to the washing machine. Personally, I’m obsessed with planning, scheduling, and knowing exactly what’s going to happen and at what time. Yeah, there’s a touch of OCD there, I’ll be the first to admit it. But because of this little quirk, I am always right on top of my menstrual schedule and it never, ever surprises me.
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Vixen Tip
Got blood on your sheets? Remove that damn spot with hydrogen peroxide. On white linens, there may still be a twinge of color after using peroxide. Treat the stain with Clorox’s Ultimate Care Bleach. It’s safe enough to put right on your fabrics.
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After discussing this with my girlfriends, I discovered I was the only one in the group who actually tracks her period! What? Well, no wonder there are all these women on Maury, bringing ten, fifteen, or even twenty men onto the stage for DNA testing! Ladies, if you educate yourself on the way your body works, when you ovulate, and when you get your period, it’ll be almost impossible to think you slept with twenty men during the limited window of time when you’re mostly likely to get pregnant, nor will you experience the accidental Bloody Mary on your new 950-thread-count Pima cotton sheets. For those of you who actually don’t want to scream Bloody Murder every month, plan around those visits from Aunt Flow.
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Vixen Tip
Here’s a fun Web site that’ll help you track your periods and ovulation, and even send you e-mails to remind you of those breast exams and everything! Visit www.MyMonthlyCycles.com.
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So, after all this sex with your man, what about sex with yourself? Masturbation is awesome, but be warned—too much of a good thing can be ultradisastrous. Be careful with your vibrators and dildos. Overstimulating your clitoris can render you unable to be pleasured by anything that isn’t battery powered, pulsating, or supercharged. Ladies, there is a reason God didn’t make men with a battery pack in their loins, a vibrating wand, and a switch. It just ain’t natural! Still, by all means, a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do. Just don’t use powered equipment too much, too fast, too hard, or too often. The old-fashioned finger method works just fine and may spare you a bit of nerve damage. Think about it before you end up too numb to be satisfied by anything or anybody.
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Recap
The physical act of sex by itself has very little to do with what makes a truly emotional and satisfying sexual experience.
Once you truly love and trust one another, there is no room for prudence and barriers in sex.
A man is only a man among other men, but to his woman he is all things.
Sex is most powerful when it is harnessed.
Just because you’re not having sex today doesn’t mean that you can’t appeal to all his senses and make him feel special, loved, and very wanted.
We’re all imperfect; in spite of those imperfections, it’s still possible to find our ideal in one man.
Whatever works for you, live by it.
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Chapter Twenty-seven
Keeping a Home
I sometimes wonder if we realize how much our men pay attention. It is not uncommon for women to underestimate men’s intelligence and attention to detail. It’s not in their nature to be as chatty as us, to comment on everything they see. They observe, take note of things in passing, and make decisions based on what they’ve noted. We may never be aware of what’s going on in their heads as they observe us until it’s too late.
How many of us have been cozied up with a man, content, oblivious, when he suddenly announces, “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what anymore?” you ask. “What are you talking about?”
“This messy house,” he says. “The way you look. You don’t care about your body.”
It could be anything. You wonder why he didn’t tell you before this moment. But men are ruminators, contemplators. They wait to see if things will change even