Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [73]
Because of this, we have to be vigilant of even the minutest details as they relate to our bodies, our selves, and the environment in which we live. Do this not just to impress a man, but also to impress and uplift yourself. Your appearance and your home are direct extensions of who you are. To believe otherwise is to be deluded. An impeccably attired woman whose living conditions are in complete disarray is living a lie that’s waiting to be unearthed. A man will recognize that lie that moment you invite him over. I can’t tell you how many male friends I have who, when asked about a particular woman they’ve been dating, casually say, “Oh, I could never get serious with her. Her house is too dirty and she can’t cook for shit.” Sex can go only so far, ladies. Sooner or later, your man is going to have to get out of bed and eat. He wants to know you’ll wash the sheets and make the bed! He needs to know you’ll be able to feed him, and that doesn’t mean just pick up the phone and order takeout.
Even if your man isn’t the neatest bachelor around, when he walks into your home, he is looking for proof that you are equipped to be his partner, part of that proof being evident in the way you keep your living space. As archaic as it sounds, men are socialized to protect and provide for the family, and women are socialized to nurture and take care of the home. Sure, times have changed. Yes, there are plenty of instances of those roles being reversed, especially since women now work just as hard outside of the home as men. But the male-provider/female-nurturer archetype is the foundation upon which relationships and the family have historically been built. If you are a woman who wants a solid relationship with a strong, leading man, then you must be willing to be a strong, supportive woman, one he’s proud to have by his side. Keeping a nasty home won’t cut it, ladies. And if you’re so busy with other obligations that you don’t have time to keep up the house, don’t allow your home to become disheveled. Get a maid if you have to, but whatever you do…keep a clean home.
I wasn’t aware of men’s domestic concerns until just a few years ago. I invited a few guys over for dinner and conversation during the NBA play-offs. Upon serving my gentlemen callers on my new Mikasa china, I was surprised by the flurry of compliments on my brand-new dinner service and flatware. I glanced around my dining table at these towering, burly, ultramasculine men as they marveled at my home and all its immaculate details. That’s when I realized men are not as oblivious as we may believe, and all these seemingly inconsequential things—fine china, cleanliness, a good home-cooked meal—set the terms by which every woman is defined.
Most men have memories of growing up and watching their mothers buzz around the house accomplishing many things simultaneously: laundry, cooking, cleaning, tidying up, all the while doling out hugs, kisses, and encouragement. Most men, though they may never admit it, are looking for a little—or a lot—of their mothers in their mates.
* * *
Vixen Tip
Total and complete cleanliness is the most important aspect of keeping a home. Floors and walls should be cleaned; pay close attention to baseboards and light switches. Clean kitchens and bathrooms are a must. Keep your sink empty of dirty dishes and your garbage disposal clear of waste. Every so often, grind a lemon in your disposal to freshen it. It’s always a plus when your dishes, utensils, pots, service, and glassware are matching sets. Keep your counters and the rest of your home free of clutter. Dust your furniture top to bottom. Dust above, below, and underneath objects.