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By Root 399 0

bear a relationship, we must act with our heads and not solely from our emotions. First off, through no fault of their own, men aren’t always that smart when it comes to women. As we’ve discussed already, men and women are socialized separately and differently from the time they are born. We interact with our own during our formative years much more than we do with males. The same is true for men. Then you reach a certain age and are expected to know what to do when faced with the prospect of dating and marrying one of “the others.” And they are, indeed, the others. They’re like aliens to us, as we are to them, so naturally it takes a lot of reprogramming and flexibility to begin to understand the opposite sex. Add to this major disadvantage my theory that men can be slow learners, and the likelihood of situations arising where a man is perplexed, tempted, or tricked by a woman other than his mate increases exponentially.

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Vixen Say What?

Dear Men: Just because you’ve slept with a bunch of women doesn’t mean you know anything about women.

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One of the most significant aspects about us—an aspect that men often fail to fully understand—is that, by nature, women have a very high threshold for pain. We have to. We are the bearers of children, and that event alone can be excruciating beyond description, capable of inducing a pain so great, the average man would probably black out if he had to endure it. That ability to tolerate pain for an extended period of time also applies to our emotional tolerance.

This is why we can take on so much, from having a career, to running a household, carrying children in our bodies for nearly a year, bearing and raising those children, and caring for our men in all the ways that they require. It’s a lot.

Just because we’re built for such burden and pain, however, doesn’t mean we’re unbreakable. It might take a long time for it to happen, but we’re more likely to become overwhelmed if we tolerate more than we could, and should, bear. You might wake up one day, after years and years of entertaining your man’s foolishness, only to realize your feelings for him have done a complete about-face. There were no major signs or warnings from you to indicate this change was taking place. Instead, there was a quiet, consistent erosion that finally broke through your tolerance threshold. It is on this day of epiphany and reckoning that all hell finally breaks loose, and you, a fed-up woman, become determined to break free.

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Vixen Say What?

If you and the fool are arguing, from a distance how are we to tell which one is which?

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Another major thing about women that men still fail to realize is that when we’ve had enough, that’s it. Show’s over, move along folks, there’s nothing here to see. Because men don’t always grasp this truth about us, they often pile on the pressure, compounding our already heavy burdens with even more weight, such as their insecurities and shortcomings. On the day you finally break, he’ll most likely have no idea where it came from. Having watched you endure so much for so long, he’ll be convinced you’re indestructible, unlimited in your capacity to take bullshit. Because of this, if your break is severe and disruptive, he’ll probably label you “that crazy bitch.” She just flipped, he’ll say to his momma, his boys, and anyone whom he believes will commiserate. It just came out of nowhere. I don’t even understand. Even though you’d be well within your rights to act this way, let’s make an informed decision, ladies, to do our best to avoid it. That girl—that crazy bitch who just snaps—typically gets no respect. She’s perceived as the unstable variable, even though the opposite might be the case.

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Vixen Tip

Here are five ways to remain calm once you’ve become fed up.

1. The good old-fashioned ten count.

2. The tried-and-true “turn the other cheek” (walk away).

3. The girls. Rant and rave to your buddies before talking to him.

4. The letter. Save your breath and write it all down.

5. All of the above!

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