Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [84]
If you’re in a relationship where things are becoming increasingly unbearable, don’t just let the load get heavier and heavier. Make your man aware along the way, as issues arise. The two of you should have open and active communication. Perhaps you can defuse these issues. You should feel comfortable enough with him to breach both important and minimal concerns that affect you. It shouldn’t come as a huge surprise to your man should you call it quits. He should have had some warning, along with the chance to adjust his behavior. Otherwise, he will remain clueless as to why things failed, and you’ll be guilty of passing the buck, sending this none-the-wiser man on to the next woman so he can possibly repeat the same mistakes. We owe it to ourselves to be forthright with our men and we owe it to other women to be responsible for the men we date. If you must leave a relationship, try to do so having imparted, and gained, some wisdom from the experience. When you unleash an ignorant man on the world, everyone suffers.
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Vixen Say What?
One woman’s trash is another woman’s used trash.
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If you’re leaving, be sure to treat him with the same respect you would want for yourself. Most importantly, depart with your dignity. Show him that not only is he losing his woman but he’s also losing one hell of a lady.
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Recap
Once we realize we can no longer bear a relationship, we must act with our heads and not solely from our emotions.
By nature, women have a very high threshold for pain.
When we’ve had enough, that’s it.
Make your man aware along the way, as issues arise.
If you must leave a relationship, try to do so having imparted, and gained, some wisdom from the experience.
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Chapter Thirty-four
Lying
I’m not very good at lying. It’s not my strong suit. For better or worse, however, I have met lots of people who are quite good at it. Unfortunately for me, most of them were men I ended up dating. In my opinion, there is nothing more despicable than a bald-faced, no-good, down-and-dirty liar! Ooooh, I get chills just writing about it. Seriously, ladies, if we don’t accept this type of behavior from our children, why do we allow it from our men?
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Vixen Say What?
One of the best ways I heard someone called out for being untruthful was the phrase, “You’re a liar and you don’t love the Lord!” Ha! (Picked that one up at church!)
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We’re quick to dole out all sorts of punishment and ass whoopings when our kids look us square in the face and tell us a lie. But the minute a man tells a tall tale we suddenly go dumb. Don’t act like you don’t know he’s lying. We’re women, damn it, born with an internal truth gauge so strong, so powerful, they gave it a name all its own—women’s intuition. That means you know when that sorry, no-good SOB is lying to you. So why are you acting as if you don’t? Toucan Sam, that clever, colorful cartoon bird from those Fruit Loops commercials, told us years ago to “follow your nose,” and I’m telling you the same thing now. If it waddles like a duck and quacks like a duck, you can best believe it’s probably a damn duck, and that lying man better hope it’s not duck-hunting season!
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Vixen Say What?
Your first thought is always the truth, every thought that follows is you talking yourself out of the truth.
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You’ve been gullible for far too long. We all have, and it’s time we started paying attention to our first feeling, our God-given women’s intuition. What better time to start calling out the liars in your life than now? You’re on the road to empowering yourself, establishing a solid foundation of self-esteem and position. If the big liar in your life happens to be your man, don’t let that deter you. Just as he’s stood nose to nose with you and told some Grade-A stinkers, stand square-shouldered before him and expose him for the fraud that he is! Let him know you’re no dummy and you’re certainly no pushover. And, while you’re at it, ask him why he’s starting to look a lot like a duck.
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