Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [87]
What’s interesting about the flirter is that he doesn’t just flirt with women. You’ll find there’s also a strange kind of man-on-man thing that happens as well—a sort of “peacocking,” if you will—a ritualistic exhibition that flirters go through to acknowledge and be acknowledged by each other. When you and your flirter walk into the room, he will make sure other men are checking out his woman and how fierce he must be to get a woman like that. He’ll strut his stuff and give a head nod here and there, as if to say, “Yeah, I’m the man.” Once he has their admiration, he’ll then proceed to get it from the women in the room. More power to you if you are up for this. Men like this are often incredibly charming, having honed their skills, especially the gift of gab, into sharp, alluring weapons that always capture prey. How do you think he got you? Right. Knowing this, what makes you think he’s done hunting? Exactly. He’s not.
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Vixen Tip
The best way to handle a man like this, whether he’s your man or not, is through silence. He craves attention; it is the fuel that keeps his motor running, so if you don’t want to add fire to that fuel, ignore him. When your man stops and engages in idle chatter with other women (or men, for that matter) every chance he gets, walk away; carry on as if he were not there. When he showboats with you on his arm, disengage. Separate yourself from him and let him find something else to show off. Walk around by yourself at this year’s holiday party and let him see how much attention you get all on your own. Give him a taste of his own medicine. After all, you’re the woman in this relationship, and whatever he can do you can do ten times faster and a hundred times better. Two wrongs may never make a right, but it sure can stand as a credible case study.
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There comes a time when a man has just got to stop talking to strangers. When you interact with another individual, you take on their energies, bringing them into your space. Imagine the energies—negative and positive—that a pathological flirter absorbs every time he kicks game to someone throughout the course of the day. Then he brings those random energies home to you. And you wonder why you suddenly felt burdened and depressed after he walked through the door. Aside from the obvious, who knows what kind of negativity he’s deflecting onto you?
If you’re dating someone like this, you have to be very thick-skinned, or you’ll become so bothered by it your resentment will be insurmountable. Someone who flirts all the time with every living thing is suffering from a major psychological issue and is not capable of being in a healthy relationship. It’s as if everyone has to love him, down to the infant who doesn’t even know him (flirters are baby kissers) and the dog on the street that he absolutely must pet (especially if there’s an attractive woman holding on to the leash!).
Mr. Look At Me will be very unhappy, and will tell you so, if you’re busy with things that take your focus off of him, like your job, children, family, and friends. He can’t stand to be alone and not looked at. As a result of you taking your attention off of him, there’ll be an opening for him to cheat, because that’s the next logical step for a flirter. Naturally, he’ll blame you for his infidelity. You never should have left him alone, he’ll say. If you can’t stroke him all day, he will definitely find someone who can.
Run away from this man as fast as you can, ladies. You deserve to be adored by a man who loves you. There should be a mutuality of appreciation and regard between you. Most importantly, there should be respect. Flirtation on this level is extremely disrespectful. Refuse to accept it. Remember, you set the bar for how you’re treated and unhealthy flirtation should never be an acceptable element in a relationship.
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Recap
One of the most notable clues that a man is not going to show you the respect you deserve is flirtation.
This type of behavior is dangerous to even the