• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

By Root 389 0

up with will probably be a mirror image of what is wrong or missing with you. Now, take a long, hard look at yourself and ask, What is it about me that makes me allow these type of people into my life? Don’t I think I am worth the best? Don’t I know how special I am? Dig into your past, as far back as your childhood. How is your relationship with your father? Do you even know him? It may sound like something out of Freud’s handbook, but our behavior with men can be directly traced to our relationships with our fathers. Little girls who have good daddies grow up to make better choices with men. Ask yourself if you are desperate, lonely, gullible, or naïve. If so, honestly examine what you believe to be the reasons for this. And what about your mother and other female role models in your family? What has been their record with men? Behavior among generations of women in the same family is often duplicated, based on the examples those women have had to guide them. Also, since so many of us have a hard time being honest with ourselves, I recommend you consult a good friend, someone who’s known you for a considerable amount of time, and ask for her honest opinion of you. There can be so many reasons why we allow ourselves to be mistreated. You should turn to yourself for the answers, not blame men, individually or collectively, for your misfortunes with the opposite sex.

* * *

Contrary to what you may believe, we are not designed to follow the lead of men. They are made to follow us, at least when it comes to male and female relations. In the days before the sexual revolution, a man could never hope to lay with a self-respecting woman unless he first made her his wife. But then things changed. During the bra-burning “free love” period of the sixties and the “I am woman, hear me roar” days of the seventies, these ideals changed drastically. Women who were sexually liberated were seen as hip and progressive, in charge of their lives, able to bed as many men as they chose without fear of being frowned upon. Men followed along because we set the rules, not them. Once the rules changed for women, the expectations of marriage, monogamy, and fidelity did as well. Men have been following us all this time and we have led them to what they, in general, have now become. As a gender, we set the tone. If none of us ever fell for bad boys, there would be no bad-boy stories to tell. It’s my personal belief that even though men go through so-called bad-boy periods, they really want to be respectful to women. They want to be loved and cared for, just like us. But why doesn’t that happen? you ask. Because we get in the way. If we don’t know how to demand respect, love, appreciation, and care, then even the most well-meaning man will be unable to meet those needs for us.

How many of you have dated a man only to watch him treat you—and the other women he’s simultaneously dating—badly, without remorse or regard for the impact of his behavior? Then, miraculously it seems, that same no-good man suddenly turns his life around, settles down with one woman, and becomes the model husband. How can it be? This is the part where most clueless women will say, “He cheated on me, so he’ll cheat on her, too.” But what if he doesn’t? The truth is, most men only do what they want to and you can never make them be or do something that makes no sense to them. The extended truth is that some women, based on how little they value themselves, are only good for having sex with. Some are just good for living with. Some are the kind you come close to marrying, but not quite. But when a man meets a woman who has it all together, both for himself and herself, then he can make a life-changing decision in what might seem like the blink of an eye. This is the one, he says to himself. No one else compares to her. If this makes him a dog, then it most certainly puts you in the category of one of his bitches if he has merely sexed you or consumed years of your life with cohabitation but no permanent commitment, and then moved on.

There were plenty of men in my life who