Why We Suck_ A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid - Denis Leary [94]
I had a reporter one time tell me he thought the FDNY was a racist organization. When I asked upon what information he based this opinion, his response was-"Well, why aren't there more black firemen?" As if there are FDNY officials roaming the streets yelling-"Hey, we need guys to die in fires-but only white guys." I also asked him why there weren't more white people working as traffic cops in New York City-a job populated to almost 60 percent by African Americans. He had no answer.
No one becomes a firefighter because of the money-they get paid a starting salary of approximately $680 a week. You try raising two kids and paying a mortgage on that fee. It's a job you do because you love to do it. Not for the perks.
Listen-people will hate each other for almost any reason. People will break off into separate little groups to point at and gossip about and feed off their fear of other little groups.
If you think tribal warfare only exists in places like Africa and Iraq-pour an equal amount of alcohol into three New York Yankee fans and three Boston Red Sox fans and then lock them in the same room for forty minutes. The only color involved would be blood, ladies and gentlemen. Broken teeth, bruised sternums and lots of blood.
And when it comes to baseball and racism-let's put the Barry Bonds bullshit to bed too. A reporter on the Tavis Smiley radio show delivered a diatribe a while back about how all the negative media coverage of Barry Bonds was due to the color of his skin. Nope. It was due to the fact that he was a huge, gimongous, steroid-popping, lying, thieving ASSHOLE.
Like my dad said-they come in every color.
Barry could have been chestnut, puce, magenta, aubergine, mauve, moss or all six mixed up all together-he would STILL be an asshole. And the more steroids and clear and flaxseed oil and other super-growth hormone chemicals he ingested-literally-he became an even BIGGER asshole.
It's like Naomi Campbell snapping on a British Airways flight after being told one of her bags had been misplaced-she spit on one of the officers who decided to arrest her when she became physically and verbally abusive with them in the first-class cabin.
Naomi claimed they were arresting her because she was black.
No-they were arresting you because YOU SPIT ON SOMEONE AND PUNCHED THEM IN THE FACE.
At that point you weren't a black asshole-you were just A RICH ASSHOLE ON A PLANE.
Naomi claimed they hate her because she's a successful black woman.
No-they hate you because you are a RIDICULOUS black woman who has a history of hitting your maids and your other service staff with cell phones and ashtrays and whatever else you can get your hands on and you've been convicted twice on these charges and served community service in New York a few years back where you had to pick up trash and you decided to do it while parading around in a different designer outfit each one of the whatever number of days it was you were court-ordered to do so. You make fifty grand every time you peel your panties off and slip on a slinky dress and pout-BLACK is the last thing people hate about you. Your legs, your cheekbones, your lifestyle, your money-all of these are way way higher up on the list.
One of the white people involved in the British Airways NaomiGate incident tried to claim reverse racism because Naomi screamed "You white honky bitch!" at her. Sorry. Excuse the pun but-that ain't gonna fly either.
I speak for all white people when I say this-honky don't mean shit to white people anymore. Bitch? Yeah-even I don't like being called a bitch. Nobody does. I'm sure Michael Vick hated that word within an hour of entering prison. He's probably heard every variation of it by now-Atlanta-assed Falcon Bitch, Pro Bowl Bitch, Let's Do It Doggy-Style Bitch.
But honky? That hasn't been an insult to white people since Starsky and Hutch was still on TV.
Personally-if you chose to call me a flat-assed stupid Mick, loudmouth honky dumb drunk Irish Donkey Red Sock-lovin' skinny puke? The part that would bother