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Our priorities had also been polar opposites. Mine was home. Jim’s was everywhere but home… physically and mentally. From the moment we were told that Hunter was going to die, we dealt with everything completely differently. Though we never talked about it until counseling, the chasm between us had grown huge. And I had no desire to try anymore. I was just going through the motions. We were together for the kids—and then Hunter was gone. I was afraid that our marriage was gone, too. Counseling was critical (and still is).

In fact, it was during one of those sessions when our marriage came up against its greatest challenge. It was April 25, 2007. Our meeting with Pastor Rich was scheduled for eleven o’clock. We had just returned from being away together for a few days. We’d had a great time, so I imagined our session would be somewhat easy.

“I’d like for you guys to watch a video before we get started,” Pastor Rich said as we all made our way into the living room. He handed me the video, I put it in, sat down next to Jim, and pushed “play.”

It was a video by a well-known Bible study teacher, Beth Moore. At first I was excited because I was very familiar with Beth and loved her teaching. But I also thought it was rather odd that Pastor Rich would use Beth Moore during our counseling session. Would Jim even pay attention?

On the video Beth was talking about Joseph from the Bible, and how he had been betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, wrongly accused, thrown in prison, and eventually exalted to second-in-charge of all Egypt under Pharaoh. The specific Scripture Beth was discussing was Genesis 50:20: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

As soon as Beth recited Joseph’s words, I started to cry. Those words were so familiar to me. They were words of encouragement, hope, and life. I thought of how often I had needed to remind myself of the “good” in the midst of so much suffering while caring for my beloved Hunter. The “good” that was accomplished through Hunter’s Hope, the countless tears that had been wiped away, the hope that had conquered so much despair—all born as a result of my son’s precious life. I missed Hunter desperately.

Pastor Rich stopped the video and asked me, “Jill, what does that mean to you right now?”

Before I could answer, I ran out of the room to get a box of tissues. After I composed myself, I sat back down and answered him: “Hunter and all the good that has come from his life. The fact that we’re sitting here right now, still together, is part of the good that has come from all the pain we’ve been through.”

It was hard to restrain the tears as I continued, “And how God has used Hunter’s suffering to save me and our family. It’s amazing. And what about Hunter’s Hope? Children’s lives are being saved because of what we’re accomplishing through the foundation.”

There was a momentary pause in the conversation, and then Pastor Rich looked over at Jim, who was sitting to my right, and said, “Okay, Jim, go ahead.”

That’s weird, I thought to myself. And then I looked at Jim. He took a deep breath, and then another one. I could tell that something was seriously bothering him. He took another deep breath and exhaled. He was very anxious about something. But what?

We had just returned from a relaxing trip together. We were getting along better than ever before. Now, as Jim sat next to me trying to compose himself, I thought something must be terribly wrong. He’s going to tell me he has cancer and has only months to live. Or maybe something’s wrong with my mother and Jim needed Pastor Rich here so he could tell me.

So many crazy thoughts bombarded my mind in those few moments that seemed to last forever. Finally, Jim tried to talk. At this point he was so emotional that tears started to pool in his eyes. When I saw them, I knew that whatever he was going to tell me was not good. Not good at all.

After inhaling deeply once again, Jim said, “This is going to be hard.”

“Just take your time, Jim,” Pastor