Writing That Works, 3e_ How to Communicate Effectively in Business - Kenneth Roman [25]
If you want to add a personal touch, make sure that what you say is personal, and something you mean.
I’ve been reading about your heat wave and wonder how you’re getting along.
George, customers like you make this business worthwhile.
6. Be specific about next steps
If you want your letter to lead to action, your last paragraph should make clear what you would like that action to be. Or, if you’re taking the action yourself, what you’re going to do:
Vague Specific
We’re hoping to hear from you soon. Please let us know your decision by August 1 so that we can meet your deadline.
I’m looking forward to getting together with you to talk more. Are you free for lunch on Friday, July 17? I’ll call that morning to confirm.
7. Use an appropriate sign-off
Gene Shalit, the Today show movie critic, signs his letters “Thine.” It’s a personal trademark, like his bushy hairstyle. In general, though, your sign-off isn’t the place to assert individuality. Keep it conventional and appropriate to your tone.
“Yours truly” benefits from a lack of any specific silly meaning. It is as rooted in convention as “Dear George,” and useful for that reason.
“Sincerely” and “Sincerely yours” are all right if you don’t mind proclaiming something your reader should take for granted.
So many people have latched on to “Cordially” that we have become numb to its mindless assertion of hearty friendship. Just don’t use it on noncordial letters: “We’ve turned your case over to our attorneys. Cordially…”
“Regards,” “Best wishes,” “All the best” are more personal than the others and less formal, but not appropriate if you don’t know your reader.
And there isn’t anything wrong with simply signing your name after your last sentence.
How to Handle Some Common Kinds of Letters
Letters that ask for something
Say what you want, right away. Don’t start by explaining why you want it. Your reader won’t be interested in your reasons before you reveal what you’re asking for.
Dear Mr. Sullivan:
We are a new electronics firm and we need to set up a department to do some basic research.
Accordingly it occurred to our president, Mr. Gene Schultz, that it would be a good idea if we found out how some giant research departments such as the Bell Laboratories were organized in the early days.
Our problem
Our thinking
Still hasn’t said what we want
Don’t start by expressing your appreciation.
Dear Mr. Sullivan:
I would greatly appreciate your help on a matter in which the Bell Laboratories may be uniquely well informed.
Write that letter like this:
Dear Mr. Sullivan:
Do you have any literature that spells out how the Bell Laboratories organized in its formative days? If so, would you send it to me and bill me?
Says what we want, and that we’ll pay
We’re a small Internet firm selling office equipment, and your early experience might help us figure out the best way to get going.
Your help would be invaluable to us.
Explains why
Thanks!
That’s the correct order for letters of inquiry; first, what you want; second, who you are and why you want it; third, an expression of appreciation for favors to come. If you’re asking for routine information — a copy of a published speech, records on your bank account, a price list — you can leave out the reason you want it and shorten your thanks.
How to say no
No, we don’t have a job for you. No, we won’t give you more credit. No, we don’t agree that it was our fault and that we owe you a refund. No, we can’t get your order to you in time for Christmas. Alas, we can’t publish your story. Sorry, we regret we can’t contribute to your charity.
Turning somebody down in writing may seem easier than doing it in person, but in some ways it’s a lot harder. It is less personal and more permanent.
Readers can’t see the expression on your face. Nor can they hear the tone of your voice. Nor can they ask questions on the spot about things that