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“Don’t do that. Please. You have so much good ahead of you. Don’t cry. You have to believe that this is for the best.”

She did not believe that at all. She believed that he was a dog, a pig. He was just another in a long line of men who had used her, then dumped her. She didn’t say any of that to him; she just cried.

There always comes a time of elimination. The earth sheds each year. The trees and flowers let go of their identity. As the old identity dies, a new identity is born. The body sheds constantly. Some of it happens invisibly, so naturally and silently that we do not realize it is happening. The heart and the spirit also shed. They shed the emotions and experiences that we no longer need. They shed the things that stunt our growth. This, too, is an invisible process. Yet because of the energy involved, the emotional energy, we often feel the emotional and spiritual shedding. It feels as if we are dying. We are. Just like the flowers and the trees, we are dying to an old identity. This shedding, or death, is not the end of us. It is the beginning.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

What’s the Lesson When You Have Mastered All the Wrong Lessons?

What could you want that forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that cannot be hurt, a deep abiding comfort and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? All this forgiveness offers you. You who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness.

Not asking for what I want.

Not saying exactly what I mean.

Not saying things when I think it will upset other people.

Not telling the truth.

Telling only half of the truth.

Not honoring (paying attention, acting on the basis of) what I know is true.

Waiting too long to tell the truth that I know.

Not saying anything when I have something to say.

Doing what will cause me the least amount of pain or discomfort. Also known as taking the easy way out.

Asking other people what they think I should do.

Being overly concerned with what other people say about me.

Being overly concerned with what other people think about me.

Not asking for help when I need it.

Waiting until the last minute to ask for help.

Waiting until the last minute.

Doing things I believe will make people like me.

Needing to be liked to my own self-detriment.

Being afraid to say no.

Staying in a situation when I know it is causing me pain.

Ignoring the pain in fear of losing a familiar situation.

Taking on more than I can possibly do (so that people will like me).

Not keeping my word (because I have taken on more than I can possibly do).

Not exercising every day.

Trying to control people and situations when I believe I can get hurt.

Not having a constructive way to express anger.

Being afraid to express anger.

Believing that I should not get angry.

Making decisions in fear.

Making decisions that I believe will bring material rewards only.

Not acknowledging the consequences of my decisions.

Not taking the time to assess all options available.

Doing things the same way I have always done things.

Not paying attention to the way I do things.

Being afraid to admit that I know what to do.

Acting like I don’t know what to do.

Letting other people believe and treat me like I don’t know what to do.

Allowing myself to be pressured into making decisions based on what others think I should do.

Being afraid to make a mistake.

Being afraid that a mistake cannot be rectified.

Feeling afraid that I want too much.

Trying to be like everyone else.

Being afraid to be myself.

Not trusting myself.

A Course in Miracles

I acknowledge that there are things that I do which are not in my own best interest. I forgive myself for doing the things I have done that are not in my own best interest.

I acknowledge that, most of the time, I have no conscious